


You're just like me

by OhGoshOhJeez



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Angst, Drug Use, F/M, Kissing, Marijuana, Shotgunning, Weed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-21
Updated: 2018-05-21
Packaged: 2019-05-09 21:10:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14723646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OhGoshOhJeez/pseuds/OhGoshOhJeez
Summary: "You’re like...My favorite member of the Gang.”“Really?”“Yeah like…” Charlie frowned. “The rest of the gang just like, pick on me or force me to do Charlie work or make me film their weird porno’s when they want good angle shots.”“Yeah, wait, what?”“-And you’re like the only person who doesn’t. Not as often, anyway.”“Okay yeah cool that’s sweet Charlie, but what was that about filming the-”“And I just like….Love you.”Dee went silent and raised her head, her bloodshot eyes staring into his own.“...Really?”God she was so close, she was super close to his face and he could feel her breath on his skin.“...Yeah..” He said.





	You're just like me

Charlie was having a bad day.

That was probably an understatement, I mean, Dennis threw a bottle at his head for putting a dead rat on the bar top, The Waitress also threw something at his head and, well really it was all the head injury things that put him in a bad mood. It hurt like a bitch and he had to get rid of his rat corpse.

So he’d settled for throwing bottles in at a wall in his Bad Room but he’d forgot to wear shoes or socks so now his feet were bleeding. But when were his feet not bleeding? Charlie work was dangerous and it sucked and he hated it and he hated the gang and-

He’d just finished his fourth beer and chucked the empty bottle at the wall with a satisfying crash.

He heard banging in the crawlspace, along with a resounding “Ow, shit!”.

It was Dee. Great, so now she was here to bug him even more.

“Heyyy Charlie!” She said, with a chuckle. Charlie didn’t look behind him to face her.

“Are you here to throw more shit at my head? Cause at this point I’m pretty sure I have a concentration.”

“...Huh?” Dee said, confused.

“A concentration, you know, that thing you get when you’ve hit your head too much?”

“Are you talking about a concussion?”

Charlie’s face heated up.

“N...No...I’m talking about- I was- It’s a different thing...To what you’re talking about.”

“...Okay, well, Charlie I think I have something that’ll cheer you up a little!” Charlie heard a rustling behind him as Dee shook something in her hand.

“Dee, I’m honestly really not in the mood-” He said and looked over his shoulder.

He did a double take at what Dee was holding.

“Is that..”

“Yup!”

“...You’ve got weed?”

“Hell yeah, I’ve got weed.” She smiled, moving a box around to sit next to him.

“Dee, why have you got plastic wrap on your shoes?”

“Oh, this?” Dee raised her eyebrows. “I didn’t wanna get glass in my shoes. I know how smashy you get up here.”

“Ah. Nice. Smart.” Charlie said, his mouth practically watering with the excitement of smoking weed.

Dee took the joints out of her bag, handing one to Charlie.

“Just please don’t throw up again, man, I had to change shirts last time because you couldn’t keep it together.” She said.

Charlie nodded quickly, taking the joint with shaking hands.

“God, man, calm down.”

“Sorry its just- I ran out of paint and glue to sniff a week ago and I haven’t had the chance to get high in days.”

“Maybe if you didn’t huff dangerous chemicals you wouldn’t get such bad withdrawals.”

“Dee I didn’t come up here to be judged for my life choices, now light the damn thing.”

Dee obliged, pulling her lighter from her pocket and leaning in.

Charlie could see Dee’s soft expression in the light of the flame and- wow- when did she get so pretty?

No, no she wasn’t cute, she looked like a bird. A gangly, weirdly shaped, hot, awesome bird.

Maybe he should just get high and stop thinking about it.

“There ya go, buddy.” She said and pulled back to light her own.

Charlie found himself missing her being that close.

Charlie took a draw as his face went red, inhaling deep enough that he could feel it tingling the back of his throat.

He coughed, smoke coming out of his nose.

“Jesus, Charlie, you’re supposed to inhale the damn thing.” She said around the joint, struggling to get the lighter to work.

“Shit. I think my lighter ran out.”

“Aw man, that sucks.” Charlie said, monotone, taking another large draw.

Dee looked over at him for a second, her eyes fixed on the joint in his mouth.

“Let me share yours.”

“What?! No, I don’t want your germs.”

“I don’t have germs, Charlie, goddamnit! I’m the one who gave you the damn weed, share it with me!”

“No, I’ll get a disease or something!”

Dee sighed, frustrated.

“Fine, then shotgun it with me.”

“The fuck does that mean?”

“You just- Here,” She reached for his hand, making him take another draw. She leaned in close, to the point where they were almost nose to nose.

“Uh-” He exhaled, the smoke traveling from his mouth to hers.

Oh. Fuck.

That was hot. Was that hot? Christ, his face was warm. The tips of his ears, too. Please god, let that just be the weed kicking in.

“See?” She said, and holy fuck her lips are so fucking close. “Easy.”

“Uhh, yeah, cool.” He did it again, watching her face as she breathed his air.

“God, your breath smells like fucking cat food, have you been eating cat food up here?”

Soon enough, the both of them were giggling and Charlie felt the familiar floaty feeling of getting high.

It felt like he was watching his life on a TV screen, it was nice to just run on autopilot for a while.

“You know...You know what, Dee?”

“Yeah?” Dee said, her head resting lazily on his shoulder.

“You’re like...My favorite member of the Gang.”

“Really?”

“Yeah like…” Charlie frowned. “The rest of the gang just like, pick on me or force me to do Charlie work or make me film their weird porno’s when they want good angle shots.”

“Yeah, wait, what?”

“-And you’re like the only person who doesn’t. Not as often, anyway.”  
“Okay yeah cool that’s sweet Charlie, but what was that about filming the-”

“And I just like….Love you.”

Dee went silent and raised her head, her bloodshot eyes staring into his own.

“...Really?”

God she was so close, she was super close to his face and he could feel her breath on his skin.

“...Yeah..” He said.

He kissed her.

Her eyes widened for a moment, before slipping shut, bringing up her hand to rest on his neck.

She tasted like beer and her lips were chapped, but he didn't care, because holy shit she was perfect.

God, she was perfect and that scared the shit out of him.

“Dee, I-” He said, against her lips.

“Shh.” She said, quieting him with a kiss.

“But I can’t-” She kissed him again and he pulled back.

“I can’t do this, not- Not with you.”

She stared at him, confused.

“What are you talking about?”

He sighed, removing her hand from his neck.

“You’re- You’re you, you’re Dee and I can’t be kissing you.”

“Why the hell not?”

“Because I can’t! I can’t kiss someone like you.”

Dee’s expression went from confused to angry and hurt in seconds and Charlie felt a stab of guilt.

“I- I didn’t mean-”

“No, no Charlie, by all means, go ahead and insult me, will that make you feel better?” She said and stood up, Charlie watched as she picked up one of the bottles from the floor.

“Staying up here, brooding, throwing-” She hurled the bottle onto the floor, the pieces of glass narrowly missing Charlie’s feet. “ _Fucking_ bottles in your fucked up room, does that make you feel better, Charlie?!”

“Well, it’s better than having the gang pick on me all the time, you don’t know how that feels!”

Dee’s mouth gaped open, she scoffed and clenched her teeth together.

“ _I_ don’t- _I_ don’t know how it feels?!” She shouted, pacing around. She stopped and glared at Charlie, then pointed an accusatory finger at him.

“You _ASSHOLES_ Have been making fun of me for _YEARS_! Oh, I’m _so_ sorry that the woman you’ve been stalking for fifteen years doesn’t like you back, god that must suck, you got a boo boo on your head, Jesus Charlie that must be _so_ hard for you.” She said, sarcastically.

“Dee, for god's sake-”

“No, you’re gonna listen to me, Charlie, and you better listen good because God knows you never do,”

She walked to him and jabbed a finger into his chest.

“You’re just like me, Charlie. You might think you’re not, but at the end of the day, everyone hates you as much as they hate me. And guess what?” She said and turned to crawl back out of the room.

“I don’t blame them.”

  



End file.
